Listening for heartbeats......

it's been a long week. i am finally out of the office and trying to figure out what "hispanic outreach" should look like. and while i'm in the process of figuring it out , i'm also busy just doing it.

i've stared with a little casework with just one person. She is a lovely young mexican woman, and if you stand near her you can smell the delicate mix of bar soap and tortillas. she is shy and beautiful and for some reason we've been brought together. she is pregnant and has diabetes and has no idea how to work the health care system here in mississippi,which is difficult, much less in another language.

at our first visit to the public health department there were several problems. the first were that my new friend's diabetes had not been properly controlled, and the other was that according to the dates we had available we should have heard a rapid little heartbeat, but there was none. everyone was a little worried, including me- i didn't want to be the bearer of such heartbreaking news at our first meeting. so we figured that the next step was to get an ultrasound to see what was going on.....

we made the long trip into alabama, where there was an affordable ultrasound could be done. i was so nervous, my new friend was nervous. we were both hoping that by some miracle, we would hear a heart beat.

personally, that's where i find myself, waiting and listening, trying to find God's heartbeat. most days i have no idea what i'm doing. i don't know why i left everything i know and love to the gulf coast. i have no idea how to really minister to people. but i do know that i remember hearing God's heartbeat here. He's working, and at time i glimpse were he just was....in my midst..in mississippi.

so i guess that's what keeps me going, keeps me listening for the Lord. my hope is that more often than not, i would find it.
because finding it is joyful, and full of life.

and gladly i report that our trip was well worth it. the ultrasound found a perfectly beautiful beating heart. and i was happy and my new friend was relieved.

and we both realized that we have a lot of work to do.

i think she's ready. and today, i feel like i may be too.