Nets and All....

"So they pulled their boats up on shore,left everything and followed him."
Luke 5:11 NIV

"They pulled their boats up on the beach, nets and all, and followed him"
Luke 5:11 The Message


i always thought that disciples were sniveling, cowardly unbelieving smucks that somehow fell into following the right guy. (i still maintain that view..)
and i've always felt a bit of superiority over them in those gospel stories.

because i of course, while struggling with this "easy yoke", knew what i was doing.

now i'm not so sure.

i think they may even had reason to feel the way they did.

i just re-read all of the "calling" stories.

i'm floored!

i can't believe peter james and john just left everything like that. nets and all. it takes a long time to make those nets and keep them in good working condition.

life with jesus was so full of uncertainty. when were they coming home? what would they eat? where would they stay?? what were they going to do?? was it safe?

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i've been worrying about how i'm going to fit everything i need into my car.i've been trying to map out the best route between Santa Rosa and Austin. Wondering how much gas money i'll need to make it there. i've been pondering the idea of turtles who carry their homes on their backs from place to place....

so, i will pack my car this week. i will Google map every route i need. i will drive early hours through long stretches of desert and i will move my stuff into the apartment that i will soon call home.

but i will probably cry. a lot.

i'm not the net dropping type.i'm used to going away for a little while, doing what i'm supposed to do and then coming home. that's the life i've known. and i've liked it that way.

but this time is a little different.

i don't get to practice incarnational ministry. i get to live it. because i'm committing to becoming texan, to loving the people of austin and the new church i feel i've been called to help "plant".

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i hear this call ringing in my ears. it's been a long time coming and yet...

i am cowardly. i am awkwardly leaving behind everything i've ever known to be safe and sure and predictable.

and i'm hoping against all hope that following this calling, that following this crazy rabbi is the right thing.

i wonder where i will work, what i will eat and how i will begin to make a home in a new place. and i wonder if i'm the right person for this.



i think i am finally starting to feel like a disciple.